Self reflection

Hi. I 'm back to blog again after Missing In Action for a long time for about 4 to 5 months.

I even MIA away from MSN and SMS during the past few weeks. Isn't that what they call anti-social? Ha.

The reason of why I been anti-social this past few weeks, is because i'm been feeling depress about my life, my studies etc. I need to re-think about it.
My results for my exams were out and the results were so bad. I flunked my exams all thanks to my laziness. I guess Poly and Uni life doesn't suit me at all with all the free time slots during the days.

Causes I do not have the heart to study at home as it too comfortable for me, I do not like the idea of travelling out of my home when I need to spend the transport fee consider that I be spending money.

After all, I quit my job just to go into full time study? Isn't that pathetic? Ha. Even I laugh at myself, that Uni course now evenly open up for part time course instead of only full time course.

People asking me if I regret going into full-time? Well, to say I don't have, is to bluff people. Cause when I was thinking of taking a course to study, I got think of study part time, but the course doesn't have part time course when I want to take it. Beside, I also see my friend working and study part time, it seen hard, so I decided to take the pluck by taking the full time course since that my parents support me to go for studies again.

At least by going full time studies, let me realise that it doesn't really matter if you got a lot of free time to study consider of the time in days but it the will of studying. The reality of the results really hit me hard in the face.

I been pondering if I want to continue with my studies. I know that even flunked my exams i still can retake it but the school fee is not cheap. It cost a few thousands dollars more.

But my father's health has not been good. He got dengue fever during my study period, even thought now he already recovered from it, he been complaining that his hands and legs are constant in pain (think maybe of his old age). Ask him to go for checkup, he do not want it.

Most of my friends know that i closest to my father, it really pain me to see him got to work hard from morning 8am to night 10pm everyday regardless rain or shine for 362 days(minus off the Chinese New Year) to repair dented cars consider that he self-employ and one man show for his car workshop. If there is work, then there is money but there are some days there isn't any cars for him to repair and he just stay around in his workshop just to wait for customers to come with their cars. Sometimes, he would get injure cause of the metal or the glasses from the car part. He need to worry about my expensive school fee and now cause of my laziness, he need to pay extra more money for my school fee. Even my mom gone out to work just because of my school fee. Her legs weren't so good either consider of her menopause.

That why I need to re-think of my life and my studies. Should I give up my studies and go back to work force? Or should I continue with my studies right now?

Life in Singapore is hard, now almost everyone got at least a degree. If I don't constant upgrade myself in knowledge, I would be leave behind but Uni course isn't as easy as ABC in pre-school.

I hate myself for been so lazy, undecide of my future and been wasting my parents'money. That why I been closing up myself to those people around me, I don't even dare to tell my parents of my results, till this week, cause escaping of the reality doesn't help in a way, it doesn't make the world stop.

After I told my mom, she doesn't blame me. She let me decide if I want to continue my Uni course or go back to work force.

Since that, now, my thought has been straighten. I decide to quit my Uni course and go out to work. That doesn't mean that I give up my studies for good. I would work and study part time for my Uni course.

I guess, like what most elders say, "you don't feel pain when you aren't spending your money."
But i feel the pain of my parents' hard work for me.

Getting older

Weather: Lot of clouds in the sky.(2 July 2008)

Oh dear. I got cracking heels. I'm scared of getting cracking heels cause my mum got it, does it mean that the genes been pass down to me? Or does it indicate that I'm getting older?

I 'm going to soak my feet in hot water and scrub my feet before moisture them. Hopefully, it would not be that obvious in the morning.

The other thing that I scared of was getting white hair. I not scared of pimples at least it still show that I still got youth. A headful of white doesn't look good on me. I still do not want to be The Bride with White Hair. Some more white hair is the indicator of aging and stress. I still don't want to grow old yet.

Lucky for me, at the moment there still hasn't any sight of white hair on the top of my hair. *Touch wood. But what I know of is that my paternal grandfather got a head full of white hair. Let hope that the genes don't pass down to me. I already got his eyes and his height. (>.<)

The Beginning of My New Blog

Weather: Gloomy skies with lot of clouds in the Tuesday Morning (1st July 2008)

Well, this picture was taken while I'm taking a ride in my father's car on my way to work, using my new bought camera. It was taken in a moving vehicle so I do not think this picture appear nice in a sense.

I'm start to blog again after like 3 years of hibernation?hmm..
Why I want to blog again after 3 years later on?
Well I guess cause I'm going to start a new chapter of studies in my life again and I think my skill of writing in a proper English has been dropping. My speech also affected cause my brain has been functioning in Mandarin/Singlish, my structure of forming a proper English has been no existing in my left brain.

Beside that, I think it also a best way to get in touch with my friends and for them to know how I getting on, since that everyone of us are busy with our daily lifes. ( The best way to let them know I'm still alive and kicking around in this virual world and the real Earth).

Well, today I had tender my resign letter to my manager and my manager been joking to me,saying that the school wouldn't accept and to tell me that they had sent the letter to the wrong address. Oh well, how can I blame him, consider that the school really wrote the letter wrong block address but with the correct postal code. I wondering how come that person who type my address can possible mis-read the "6"to an "8". Beside that, I haven't gone to the school and pay my school fee yet. My lazy butt is too heavy to move.

My countdown period starting from now. Hopefully, I'm don't get fired before the 1 month of notice of resign and leaving as quiet as possible. But I think it not possible to leave as quiet as possible consider that I got loud mouth friends in the company. Hahaha. Oops.

Working life was never been great without these bunch of friends and good colleagues. Ha, I think I better don't touch on that emotion/feeling/thought about my friends and colleagues on today topic. Let wait till end of this month before getting these particular topic on friends and colleagues in my company.